The Prince's New Groove
by Samsquatch67
Summary: What if Merlin and the others were suddenly to be mixed up with the groove? Random scenes using quotes from The Emperor's New Groove instead of what the original Merlin quotes. Crack!fic of sorts! COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS. NOT EVEN JOKING. CROSSOVER WITH EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE.


**The Poisoned Chalice:**

Nimueh grinned, looking into the mirror. She pulled the blue hair cover from dark brown locks, and shook her head, causing them to fall. "So, is everything ready for tonight?" she asked herself. "Oh, yes. Thought they'd start off with soup and a light salad, then see how they felt after that…"

Her expression changed. "Not the dinner! You know…" A looked of realization dawned across her face. "Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Merlin, the poison chosen especially to kill Merlin, Merlin's poison. That poison?" she asked herself, then replied. "Yes! That poison." And once again. "Got you covered."

"Excellent. The petal in the goblet, and then a toast will be proposed, and he will be dead before dessert."

"Which is a real shame, because it's gonna be delicious."

**Servant of Two Masters:**

Merlin paced. Something moved in the back of his neck – the snake controlling his mind. "Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll send that box to myself, and when it arrives…" he paused only to laugh.

"I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!" he spun around, one long arm accidently hitting deadly liquid spilled over a flower, which proceeded to shrivel up, dead. "Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this."

**Aithusa:**

Merlin had left his room, after hearing some Julius Borden talking to Gaius of a dragon's egg. He could tell that Gaius didn't trust him, whoever 'him' was. But what if this, Julius, was telling the truth?

Well, both of them were trying to convince him of two different things.

Julius spoke."Listen up, big guy.I got three good reasons why you should help one," he paused, pointing at Gaius, "Look at that guy!He's got that sissy stringy sweepy thing."

Gaius frowned."We've been through 's a broom, and you know it."

"Oh, 's a broom, and that's a dress."

"Robe!"

"Reason number what I can -ha, ha!"Julias did a one armed handstand.

Merlin shook his head, "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Gaius sighed."No, 's got a point."

Merlin frowned, rubbing his head."Listen, you 're sort of confusing me, so, uh, begone… or, em, y'know, however I get rid of you guys."

**The Darkest Hour**:

Morgana breathed heavy breaths."Find Emrys, and finish the job!" she cried.

Agravaine stared."What about dinner."

"Agravaine, this is kind of important."

"How about dessert?"

"Well, I suppose there's time for dessert."

"And coffee?"

"All right.A quick cup of find him, and kill him!"

**Random:**

"Dad, look out!"Arthur suddenly exclaimed, waking from a dream.

Merlin flinched."Arthur, what is it?"

"I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control down a raging river of death!"

Merlin put a hand on his shoulder, "It's all right, it's all right."

"It was awful!"

"It's okay, Arthur, calm down, it was just a dream. Your dad's fine. He just went back to his chambers."

"Oh, you mean, like you told him to, 'cause you're always right."

"That's right."

"Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama."

Merlin scoffed, "Yeah, like that would ever happen."

"It could!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-hah!"

"Nuh-uh!

"Yeah-haaaaaaaahhha!"

It went on until they exchanged 'nuh-uh's" and "Yeah-hah's" at lightening speed.

**Valiant:**

Arthur ran a hand over his face, looking at his servant."Oh, and by the way, you're fired."

Merlin shook his head madly, "Fired?W-w-what do you mean, 'fired'?"

"Um, how else can I say it?You're being let department's being 're part of an 're going in a different direction. We're not picking up your your pick.I got more."

**Beauty and the Beast (Part 2):**

The troll peered over Uther's shoulder."And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince, taken from us so tragically."

Uther sobbed, rocking his son and looking at the lax face."Poor little guy!"

The troll tried to pull him away, to stop his tears from coming."His legacy will live in our hearts…"

"He never had a chance," Uther blubbered.

"…For a eternity," Catrina finished her shrugged."Well, he ain't getting any deader!Back to work."

**The Sword in the Stone (Part 1):**

"Why did I risk my life for a selfish prat like you?I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong!" Merlin grouched.

Arthur, just after berating Merlin for the whole 'simpleton' thing, shot back, "Oh, I feel really Arthur."

"I could've let you die back there in Camelot, then all my problems would be over!" Merlin returned.

"Well, that makes you ugly and stupid," Arthur said with a smile, his eyes wide.

"Let's end this," Merlin said.

Arthur smirked."Ladies first."

**The Dragon's Call:**

Gaius walked into the dungeon cell, looking at Merlin as the boy started to stand."What happened?" he demanded.

"Well, I threw off the prince's groove."

"What?" Gaius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"His groove!The rhythm in which he lives his pattern of behavior.I threw it the king had me thrown in the dungeons."

"Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today…"

"Don't throw off his groove!" Merlin warned, wide-eyed.

"Oh, okay."Gaius nodded.

"BEwaaarree, the groove…."

"Merlin, are you going to be all right?"

"Groooovvee…."

**The Poisoned Chalice:**

Merlin watched Arthur getting the flower from the Forests of Balor, muttering the spell for the blue light all the while. He mentally rolled his eyes as Arthur started... umm... singing? "Oh, he's doing his own theme music? Big, dumb, and tone deaf. I'm so glad I'm unconscious and not going to remember any of this."

**Yep! That was buckets of fun, *Snorting with laughter* Hope you enjoyed... ;) **


End file.
